For once I’m ordering a drink from Starbucks that isn’t to keep me awake for the rest of the day. Less taxing on the body. I also haven’t had the greatest sleep in awhile with all that caffeine addiction I’m starting to have. But studying with a cup of London Fog makes studying so much more satisfying. You feel like you’re absorbing your material everything 50% better.
Summer life has been feeling like a massive routine. To celebrate the end of the last course, BIO241, that I’m taking, Shuai and I decided to roam around aimlessly around downtown. Although we’ve both in the same course for the past 3 months, we haven’t started talking until I bumped into her with another friend at a library. Quite sad actually now that I’m learning how much we have in common.
Suddenly I shouted,
“Let’s get ice cream at Yorkville!!”
“Okay…”
While roaming around and letting our stomachs do the leading, we came across Pusateri’s. In the spur of the moment, we went in. Our tastebuds finally got a good kick out of some utterly declicious cakes. It was quite pricey for two small little pieces of cakes but totally worth it. Hmm, lemon strawberry parfait cup and chocolate truffle. Fellas, if you’re looking a way into our hearts… We continued our sugar rush on top of my already immense caffeine load and went Summer Ice Cream on Yorkville. Came out with crunchy Pistachio ice cream. I have a real liking for it now. It’s really different from the other ice cream in terms of sweetness, flavour and texture. Inulgence & calories… Oh no… Guilty feeling coming. Without realizing, our workout came to us quite quickly as we also decided at the moment to go to the AGO all the way from Yorkville. Yes, the stairs killed.
One thing that makes me somewhat admire contemporary art is how I simply sometimes cannot interpret whatever the artist was trying to convey. But you can’t help it, you’re so science oriented. I remember having a late conversation with Ted expressing my frustration sometimes with art. (Please note that this was really late and I had already been studying 8 hours straight for my exam. Random rantings helps me relieve stress. Basically, I don’t hate art is what I’m trying to say.)
“You know what I hate also… Art”
“…”
“I hate when they always give me a blank canvas and expect me to find the answer
Damn art.”
One of my many rantings during that night which turn out to be a comedy show for Ted. But as you can tell now, I’m continuing to type for the sake of something to do. Studying does crazy things to you I tell ya.
Let’s all fly away.
Filed under: Christianity, Life, school | Tags: Christianity, Life, Rob Bell, school
After 5 days of freedom from my last exam in early may, I kicked myself straight back into school for the summer and some massive volunteering. I am thoroughly excited in taking bio during this summer as I am really developing an interest in the material that’s being taught. The more I dive into the sciences, the more I am struck with awe of the whole complexity. Volunteering has been a thrill learning all the techniques and especially the jargon. My summer has been busy and exciting in the educational aspect but I am pushing myself towards exhaustion.
Rushing from one place to another, I’ve began to plan things around myself, a lot. It’s easy to justify your faults especially arriving late with such a tight schedule that you have made the effort because you did indeed ‘rush’. But really, the highest priority on the list is none other than yourself. It’s not far from a person that is self-absorbed. It incredibly easy to get lost in your hectic schedule that you being to forget the meaning of all and your priorities. I think I almost lost sight of it until Ted pointed it out to me. Selfishness is one of the things that I struggle to admit because I am in a strong denial that I don’t care about others more than myself. Evolutionary speaking, it is inherent for us to be selfish for our own survival, the whole idea of ‘darwinian fitness’. That doesn’t cut it. Altruism does exist among those that may or may not be related with expected benefits for both parties. But I believe in selflessness that doesn’t involve calculating the costs and benefits and this is something that I’m trying to learn as a growing Christian. The more I analyze the little details of my life, I can see the little subtle things that I do and unknowingly do as a habit that really is selfish. As stubborn as I am sometimes to change when I am given the opportunities to learn selflessness, I am repenting and working on it.
I’m beginning to realize how important it is to take a day of Sabbath to really help recharge and put your life back into the right perspective. It’s a time to really let yourself tune out all of that noise in your life and really listen for His voice. As students, we’re so caught up and worried about our GPA and planning our future career that our achievements become our worth. We become defined by our marks, wealth, our prestigious professions and successes. What is left of you when all of that is stripped away? Naked in shame? I am learning to not let myself be defined by my successes because I am not only setting my expectations on a higher pedestal but I’m creating this ‘SuperYi-Min’ that I begin to live by. Failing to achieve it will make you depressed, frustrated, and perhaps more driven to get it. What’s even worse is when your parents create this superwhatever for you and set this as your own goal. dYou will become exhausted, burned out, fall hard on your failures all to attain such an unhealthy and superficial goal. It’s beyond discouraging. Your superwhatever will kill you. The meaning of my life is not defined by my SuperYi-Min. Should yours?
“And the only way to not be killed by it is to shoot it first. Yes, that is what I meant to write. You have to kill your superwhatever. And you have to do it right now. Because your superwhatever will rob you of today and tomorrow and the next day until you take it out back and end its life. Go do it.” – Rob Bell from Velvet Elvis
Goodbye SuperYi-Min.
Finally certified to drive by myself but just in time for the new driving regulations to be imposed. Lovely. Next on my driving list, do some persuasion so I can conquer the highways.
Other than making people feel scared while I’m behind the wheel (I’m not a bad driver, seriously), these past three months have been sheer pain, agony, stress, and trying to plough through everything. Although, I must admit I have impressed myself with my new studying habits. (You don’t want to know what I was like last year.) My commuting distance and time is pretty good compared to 1.5 hours for the others. Still trying to find a fine balance between studying for all five subjects. I have to say, organic chemistry and I are still not in good terms, as opposed to physics which I was fearing so much about in September. A part of me wishes that I lived in residence but with the massive amounts of distractions, I wouldn’t be able to shun it all away.
As the holidays start making there way here, I have decided I will be cooking up a storm with a book I borrowed from a friend, Joy of Cooking. Time to get all my basics down and be a real home chef, or something like that. I think my mom already knows of this hidden agenda and bought me so much cookingware. She has jokingly stated the kitchen is now my new lab, as long as I don’t blow up anything, or burn any pots. So many recipies and so little time ! Indeed, the joy of cooking…
During the last two weeks,
- had an awesome extremely belated 17th birthday adventure from Ted.
- during Ted’s plans I got a chance to take a picture and meet Evgeny Kissin, a Russian pianist. (Cries in a corner at Kissin’s awesomeness)
- my adventure also happened to be my last day of fun so it was a good way to start off the hardcore studying month of april
- been working hard and have consistently improved my work/study ethics
- my schedule everyday has been as followed: wakeup, school, come home, snack, study, piano, study, dinner, piano, study, piano, study. It would explain why my fingers feel stiff and sore.
1. Have your boyfriend call you during class to figure out where you’re heading afterschool and also have him talk to your best friend.
2. Question deeply why your boyfriend is talking to your best friend over your cell-phone and attempt to figure out what they could be possibly scheming.
3. Have your boyfriend hang up on you on the phone because he is apparently “busy” from other people calling on the other line.
4. Let your best friend soothe your hurt little sensitive soul with some chocolate you bought yourself. (more…)
After weeks of searching and exhaustion from trying on dresses and not wanting to give into dresses my mom thinks look nice but which I secretly despise, I finally found one that has kept us on the same page. It was my original selection but since it’s custom made, it is a big pricey so there was no choice but to keep looking for some cheaper ones. The lady making it for me is the same person that made my Grade 8 graduation dress (which I only wore once but I definitely plan on wearing it for appropriate occasions that fit it’s style and when I loose some of this “chubbiness”). (more…)
Currently catching up chemical equilibrium readings and homework since I pretty much died according to everyone at school for almost a good week. It’s funny how that everyone’s first reaction when they see me in the halls now is “OMGOSH, you’re at school!” The interesting thing, according to one of my friend, is that teachers still like me even though they never see me in their classes. Every year I always have this phase where I’m just so bored of everything but magically turns better right after. I’d assume these past two months has been like that and now slowly climbing out of this little hole of mine. Now I really need to make sure I have some decent predicted marks for University or be prepared to face my mother’s wrath. (more…)
These last two weeks and next month is probably going to be one of the busiest months ever when IB assignments are finally.
- chemistry exam in two days
- english oral exam the next day
- biology exam monday
- work on extended essay
- write up two chemistry labs
- do all those math sheets (about a 1.5 weeks worth)
- fix up tok essay
- four pages due feb 1 for yearbook
- scholarship application due feb 1
- and lastly and most importantly, come up with something to swoon Ted
Nothing beats studying for math with some lit candles and nice old Charlie Brown Christmas Jazz songs.
Around this time, I always get this feeling that I had ever since grade 8. This sense of boredom of going to school every single day, the same building, same classrooms, and same schedule. Over the years, I haven’t thought as much about it hence I’ve been skipping less. I still remember Grade 9 being absent for 46 days in just first semester. Impressive for someone that was still able to maintain good grades. I think my dad’s logic really affected the way I looked at school, even up to now. Though this year, I have been working significantly harder than before. I’d like to blame the whole ‘IB syndrome’ as we call at VP but then that’s just pushing the limits.
I think I only have about 2-4 real friends at VP but most of the time, I often feel neglected, as if they don’t care nor even want to take the initiative to do anything. Maybe it just so happens my character isn’t like that and I seek reciprocity. It is in a way selfish but it does help differentiate the mature and immature. It’s not only disappointing to be treated like that, but also to each other. I want to leave this school as soon as I graduate and head to UT with my ‘brothers’. Not because I’m some form of social outcast here, it’s just somewhat annoying. Ted, it’s all your fault.
