One of my favourite ways to spend my mornings, playing the piano after waking up. Been practicing only the First Movement of Beethoven’s Pathetique Sonata and quite happy how it is slowly turning out. My tremolos are ten times better then when I first started out. My hands have grown accustomed to it and the fact that I am able to control my wrist movement a lot better and not get tired is definitely helping me increase my speed. I think I need to whip more discipline on myself in practicing piano especially since I’m not seeing my teacher for two months. Either she’ll do it, or I’ll do it. I think I’ll choose the latter. (more…)
Around this time, I always get this feeling that I had ever since grade 8. This sense of boredom of going to school every single day, the same building, same classrooms, and same schedule. Over the years, I haven’t thought as much about it hence I’ve been skipping less. I still remember Grade 9 being absent for 46 days in just first semester. Impressive for someone that was still able to maintain good grades. I think my dad’s logic really affected the way I looked at school, even up to now. Though this year, I have been working significantly harder than before. I’d like to blame the whole ‘IB syndrome’ as we call at VP but then that’s just pushing the limits.
I think I only have about 2-4 real friends at VP but most of the time, I often feel neglected, as if they don’t care nor even want to take the initiative to do anything. Maybe it just so happens my character isn’t like that and I seek reciprocity. It is in a way selfish but it does help differentiate the mature and immature. It’s not only disappointing to be treated like that, but also to each other. I want to leave this school as soon as I graduate and head to UT with my ‘brothers’. Not because I’m some form of social outcast here, it’s just somewhat annoying. Ted, it’s all your fault.
It’s weird sometimes to think that the people that you hate the most may end up being your friend or even one of your good friends. I think I’ve encountered that too many times, how I’ve wronged people and I finally see it through their eyes. The tendency to jump to make prejudice conclusions is something that I struggle with and it annoys me.
Someone that I’ve disliked ever since the beginning of high school was one of them. They always gave off a cocky, cold, and ‘if you don’t get it the second time then that’s your problem’ impression on me. Cockiness is one of the things that I just cannot stand in a person especially if they don’t have a justified reason for it. The things I heard from other people contributed to my subjective view on them which I am ashamed of since rumours are untrustworthy. Since two years ago when I gave my testimony and devoted to my life to Him, my opinion of the person began to gradually change as I saw another side to them that I had never bothered to notice. For once, I feel guilty of wronging based on a reason that was not entirely plausible to begin with. Growing up in an abusive environment probably made me develop a special hatred for those type of people. For the most part, I would say I’m extremely humble even if I know there’s something I’m good at. I guess this is where the chinese proverb comes in, where a big hollow rice bucket makes lots of sound, and the other one that is full stays quiet. Although I find these people as highly annoying, I hope as I plunge deeper into this new Christian life of mine I’ll gradually learn to deal with these kind of people better.
